Ways to Avoid Actually Writing

The "power of the white" blocks the creative juices of some writers when they sit down to a blank page. Painters feel it, too. When I took Painting 101, we were told to just add a tone--any tone--to the gesso and that would help. But people who tend to stall or go blank can be resourceful when it comes to spending hours and having little to show for it. One day a couple of months ago, I started a list of my personal patterns of distractions. Maybe some of you can relate to it.

45 Ways to Avoid Writing a Novel

1. Check FB.
2. Open Google Drive. Open manuscript.
3. Stare at list of scenes.
4. Open to last page and try to continue writing, but feel stuck.
5. Do a little more research.
6. Check FB.
7. Think about your next blog post.
8. Check FB.
9. Read a scene you wrote three years ago.
10. Wonder why you wrote something so lame.
11. Re-write scene from three years ago.
12. Check email. Respond to three emails.
13. Post a status update on FB.
14. Read the last place you left off in novel.
15. Message your sister. Exchange six other messages with sister.
16. Call sister.
17. Write a few lines and refill your coffee.
18. Let the dog out.
19. Check word count.
20. Call your Mom or Dad to ask what life was like when X happened.
21. Feel inspired and quickly write next scene but run out of time (to go to paying job) to finish.
22. Realize the dog has been barking and let him in.
23. Have out-of-town guests who hate that you’re writing a book so you go three days without writing a word. (Of course it was worth it :).)
24. Post 50 (phototshopped) pics from weekend on FB.
25. Check FB for responses to pics.
26. Write your next blog post.
27. Check pageviews on blog post every 15 minutes.
28. Ponder over old photos to try to beam yourself back in time.
29. Write some good stuff but realize you haven’t eaten all day.
30. Notice there’s no food in fridge. Grocery shop.
31. Start writing something awesome and realize your husband has been sharing (with you, presumably) a personal experience he’s really excited about and you have to ask him to start over, respectfully.
32. Go to your paying job, again.
33. Re-read nearly the whole book. Might lead to clarity and inspiration...but no new pages.
34. Turn off your computer. Your two-year-old grandsons are tag-teaming on the keyboard and pull up the trash can.
35. Check FB.
36. Let the dog out. Follow the dog out and notice you haven’t been weeding the garden.
37. Change the font and spacing and see if you like the look of it better.
38. Let the dog in.
39. Start doing reseach but buy stuff on Amazon.
40. Read a scene you wrote last night. Revel in it, while indentifying your own narcissistic tendencies.
41. Read the scene to your husband. Run out of time to write anything else.
42. Spend twenty  minutes figuring out what time of day it is in the novel to decide if the characters would be having a meal. Oh, wait...I’m hungry and they don’t matter.
43. Pet the cat.
44. Check the word count. Oh, my. the book is nearly long enough to be a book!
45. Repeat all.

Even with all that, I am happy to be at the 70K+ stage of the book and look forward to seeing the final storylines come together and the last chapters being completed so we can start to ask friends, relatives and co-workers to proofread it for us!